Pong
by composingmythoughts
Summary: The journal of a man who develops an unhealthy relationship with the game. Written to be humorous, for the Katarina. Rated T for language.


**A/N:** This was written in a purely satirical manner for Katie.

Pong

**Day 1, 1:34pm:**

These study halls are so boring. I can't believe the administration has insisted that every period I haven't got band or lessons should be dedicated to study halls. Its stupid kids making dumb jokes and playing bad, mind numbing music for hours of my day. I would lecture these idiots on _real_ music if I thought they'd listen to a thing I had to say.

Fortunately, one of the subs told me about this game; it's called "Pong". She says that most of the time, teachers just leave her movies to show or independent work to pass out, so she needed something to do to pass the time. She said the game can get fairly addictive, but it's good for passing time when teachers don't give her much to do. I doubt I'll ever get _addicted _to the game, but it might be a fun or entertaining way to kill time. Anything is better than listening to all these inane conversations flowing around me.

I'm going to give this Pong game a try now, right after I throw the Griffin kid's rap CD out the window.

**Day 7, 2:13pm:**

Study hall has been flying by this week! For once, I drowned out all those stupid brats by playing Pong. It's actually more fun that I thought it would be. Time passes quickly, as game after game flies by. At first I wasn't too good at it, but after a week or so of playing, I've become very sensitive to the subtle movements of the game. I'm so glad that sub told me about Pong! It's definitely made my spare time more enjoyable.

She was right though, it's very addictive. Of course, I'm not _actually_ addicted. That would be ridiculous. I mean, yes, I _did_ forget to practice for that gig this weekend, but I'll do it later; I've still got a few days, and plenty of time in the evenings. I'll practice before dinner – that way I've got all the time in the world _after_ dinner to play some more Pong. It's a win-win situation!

This is all for now – there are only ten more minutes for this study hall, and I want to get in a few more games before the bell rings.

**Day 13, 12:28pm:**

I hate this stupid school! In my study hall this morning, the principal came in and asked what I was doing. I told him that I was just playing a quick game on the computer while the students worked, and he reprimanded me. It's so ridiculous! He said that it's not appropriate for me to be "playing video games during class time." I'm not "playing video games" … I'm just playing a little Pong! And besides, it's not even _really_ class time – it's just a study hall! I'm going to have to be more careful… maybe keep the MENC website open in another window in case someone else comes back to see what I'm up to.

Besides, I bet if he actually _played_ Pong, he'd love it! He would understand how harmless it is to play, and how much fun it can be. It's not like other video games, with mindless violence and gore… Pong doesn't have_ any_ of that! Maybe I can figure out some way to introduce him to the game so that _he'll_ love it, too…

**Day 17, 12:14pm:**

Pong is just such an ingenious game, now that I really think about it. It's so simple, yet there's so much to it! Just two paddles, and a little ball, yet it's so wonderful. I mean, the ball could bounce a million different directions; you have no way to anticipate where it's going. I suppose that's part of the thrill of the game… the unpredictability. Maybe I can argue with the principal that it teaches you about angles of reflection… maybe talk to Mr. Dwyer and see if I can get him to work Pong into his algebra lessons or something…

I saw that sub again today. I thanked her profusely for introducing me to this wonderful game, but she reacted strangely; almost like she was surprised or something. "You're still playing?" she asked.

"Yeah, of course!" I had replied. "Pong is such a wonderful game! I can't even remember what I did with my free time before you introduced me to it!"

"Oh… it got a little old for me," she admitted. "Yeah, I've switched over to Tetris. Much more entertaining… more colorful, more variety… the games last longer, too."

I had chuckled, and proposed that maybe she was right, but deep down, I was appalled! She had _given up_ on Pong?? How could anyone choose to stop playing such a wonderful game? And for Tetris? Bah! Tetris is, for all intents and purposes, a big puzzle. It's too simple! There are a million different ways Tetris can be played, it's not even _challenging_! There are no complex angles to be calculated and, to be perfectly honest, the colors can be a bit much. There's just something so beautiful about the black and white perfection that _is_ Pong…

Wow, where has the time gone? I need to go grab a sandwich or something… somehow, the time got away from me. Lunch ends in four minutes and then I've got clarinet lessons all afternoon. I'm going to need my strength to endure them (until I can play again).

**Day 28, 3:45am:**

I really should get some sleep, but I just can't stop playing! There's poetry in every motion of the game, and it's mesmerizing, hypnotizing… I just can't look away! I have an important proposal to the school board tomorrow, and I won't be well rested, but I can't stop now… this particular game has been going on for hours, and I can't bring myself to lose on purpose. Plus, who knows how long that board meeting will go? What if I have to go _hours_ without playing? I don't know that I'll make it…

I can't even risk speaking about my beloved Pong during the meeting; I got caught again yesterday. I did have the MENC window open, ready to be clicked, but the sound gave me away.

"What's that noise?" he had accused, coming nearer to my computer.

"Nothing," I had insisted, hastily trying to click away.

"It's not nothing," he had replied, "I hear a "blip, blip", sort of noise! It's coming from your computer."

He took the mouse from me, clicked onto the minimized Pong window, and it was a lost cause; I was caught in the act once more.

Of course, you may be asking why I didn't turn the sound off. It's easy enough to accomplish, and he would've been none the wiser for it. However, to play Pong without sound would be taking away an essential part of the game play. Would you ask Leonard Bernstein to conduct Mozart's 25th Symphony without a violin section? Could you ask him to conduct Scheherazade with no bassoons?? You cannot take away so fundamental an element of something! Pong without its wonderful sound effects would surely be a crime.

**Day 37, 3:02pm:**

The day is almost up, and I can go home for the weekend and play Pong to my heart's content! I daresay I've had enough of this school for a lifetime! I've taken to carrying headphones with me now, in the event that an opportunity to play should arise. I just couldn't bring myself to mute the game, but I can't have it making sounds aloud, either. My students are growing suspicious of me, too.

This morning I had a trumpet player in my office for a private lesson. He was struggling with his high notes, and to be frank, is not a very good trumpet player. I was listening to him play and playing Pong at the same time, when suddenly he had a violent outburst!

"You're not even _listening!_" he accused, throwing his trumpet down on my desk. I was startled, and stopped playing for a moment.

"Of course I am," I insisted, closing out the Pong window temporarily.

"I can't play _any_ of these high notes," he whined, looking crestfallen.

"Well," I mused, wondering the quickest way to fix his problem and get him out of my office so I could play some more. Obviously, a lesson in the proper embouchure and technique for high trumpet performance would not be the quickest route. "Have you ever heard of a baritone, Ron?" I asked.

"You're going to put me on baritone because I suck??" he exclaimed, grabbing his trumpet and running from my office. Well, at least he was _gone_… I returned to my game.

**Day 40, 10:15am:**

Wow, what a morning. I walked into my office and began sorting my schedule out for the day (and I caught a few quick games of Pong while I had my coffee), and who should come in but the principal. I wasn't even _playing_ when he came in, but he sat down in my extra chair and told me that my Pong obsession had become a serious problem. "Pong obsession!" Ha! As if… I'm not obsessed. Obsession is when you are fixated on something for long periods of time, you can't stop thinking about that one thing, and you are generally consumed by the object of your obsession. I do other things. I mean, sure, I haven't been asked to gig in a while, but I've been busy. It couldn't possibly have anything to do with my Pong playing… what a ridiculous thought.

In any case, I denied the obsession accusation, and can you believe it, the bastard told me they have to "let me go". Let me go! He said that my refusal to help a student learn proper instrumental technique was inexcusable. That damn Ron, he went and whined to the principal?

Where are they going to find a new band teacher in the middle of the semester? And here's the kicker – they asked me to clear out of the office immediately, and that little prat, the stupid sub who _introduced_ me to the game is coming in to cover my lessons and study halls for the rest of the week until they can replace me! I gathered my instruments and my computer and cleared out, but I'll go back later in the week to get the rest of my things. I wanted to be out of there before students started arriving. This isn't going to look very good on my resume.

**Day 46, 4:56pm:**

A few of my friends stopped by today. They seemed upset when they got inside, complaining that I made them wait a long time before I answered the door. Whatever. I was in the middle of a game, I wasn't gonna just up and leave to answer the door. It could've been a Jehovah's Witness, and I _never_ would've gotten back to the game! They said I've been too preoccupied lately; they wanted to make sure I was doing okay after losing my job, and getting my resume back out there. I don't see what their rush is. I'm totally fine taking some personal time and just hanging out at home. Anyway, it's giving me more time to play.

They think I'm crazy for playing so much… they said it's "unhealthy" to be so obsessed with a game. Again, I'm not obsessed… I just enjoy Pong! Besides, they're just jealous. Mark played with me once and it was no competition – I kicked his ass. He's just jealous that I'm so much better than he is. I mean, sure, they've been calling him to play at all my old venues instead of me, but so what… I'm taking time off from gigging. And I'm so much better than him anyway… especially at Pong.

And something good has come of my Pong playing: I've lost weight! I stopped running every day like I used to, but I haven't been eating as much which is pretty awesome. I mean, just this afternoon, I was pretty hungry, but didn't eat anything. I didn't want to leave the game for too long to go shopping, but I didn't want to order food to be delivered, because what if the delivery guy showed up in the middle of the game? I didn't know how long I could make him wait before I answered the door, so I just didn't bother ordering anything.

Mark says that I need help, but I think he's ridiculous. It's just a game. It's not like it's taking over my life or anything.

**Day 53, 9:39pm:**

I've just had a breakthrough! I've been messing with the code of Pong for a few days now, and I finally cracked it! It's been annoying me, to have games go on for literally days because it ceased to be a challenge, and I've finally tampered the code enough to make it challenging again. I made the ball go about ten times faster, and shortened the paddle lengths considerably. Playing this way, I lost after just a few minutes each time, but it's so much more challenging now. I'm slowly getting better at it and it's so much more fun.

I also made the "blip" noise my ring tone a week or so ago. And a picture of the game is my background picture on my computer _and_ my phone. I can't wait until someone calls me so that I can hear it! I mean, it's been a week, but it's not all that strange to go over a week without a phone call, right? It's not the end of the world… someone will call eventually. I haven't actually heard from Amy in a week or two.... after our last date, she said, "well, maybe I'll see you around," so I think she just wants to keep things casual. That's fine with me. More time to play.

**Day 74, 3:45pm:**

Mark came by today and just walked right in, didn't even knock… how rude! He said something about the fact that I wouldn't answer the door…? I don't know; I wasn't really listening… I was in the middle of a game. And then, can you believe it, that bastard unplugged my computer! Just walked right up and pulled the cord! I was in the middle of a game that had been going for _three hours_ and he ended it in a second! I was livid, and told him to get the hell out of my house and never come back. He told me he would be calling some "Green Hills" place soon to deal with me. I don't know what "Green Hills" is, but I don't even care. I'm going to deadbolt the door from now on.

When he was leaving, he threw a stack of letters at me and pointed to the one on top. "If you don't pay your landlord by Friday, he's going to evict you," he yelled at me, and stormed out the front door.

It's okay though… I've got the situation under control. I have a lot of instruments I can sell to make this months payment… then I'll figure the rest out from there.

**Day 89, 1:48pm:**

This will be my last entry for some time. I finally found out what "Green Hills" is. A mental institution, can you believe it? Mark thinks I need to be locked away, and Amy agreed with him! I tried to argue, but no one would listen. This is my last entry because apparently I'm not allowed to have my computer or any personal effects in my room. No more Pong! I don't know how I'm going to make it! They say I can't have anything in my room, because they're afraid that once they take away my Pong, I'll try to hurt myself. So ridiculous. I just have to make them believe I'm okay until I can get out of here and get my game back.

The guy I share a room with seems nice enough… his name is Steve, and he hears voices. He's a little odd, but very personable. I think I should be able to talk him into playing with me, but we'll have to be sneaky about it. We can use the bowls they use to serve us dinner for the pong ball, and use the trays for the paddles. Or, oh my gosh, brilliance! We could use our _bodies_ for the paddles! I'll have to see if he'd be willing to play…

This is all for now, they're coming back for my journal and my computer; I can hear them in the hall! Maybe I can get in one last game before they take it away…

**The End.**


End file.
